The Forbidden Slogan: EAT AT JOES

One of my coworkers at Fair, Isaac, where I worked for 13 years in the ’80s, was named Dennis.

Dennis was forward-thinking and obsessed with technical excellence. He didn’t believe in “good enough.” It had to be done right. His motto was: “Be bold.”

He had a mercurial temper when you disappointed him, but was also quick to give credit when you did something right.

I liked Dennis, although we didn’t always see eye-to-eye.

Dennis managed to talk management into a bold new initiative: to invest considerable money in replacing our punch card mainframe with sleek, modern computer systems with computer terminals on our desks.

Not everyone got these fancy accoutrements at first, of course. They cost money!

So, one by one, they appeared on only certain desks: first, the lowliest of our computer programmers, since they were the ones who would be doing the actual work—and also on the desks of the highest-ranking executives on the top floor of the building.

Because they’re the ones who approved the expenditures, of course.

But on the top floor, you did not see the terminals on the person’s actual desk. That would give the impression that they were busy doing clerical work. That would not do.

Instead, they bought little side tables for the terminals to rest on.

As one of the lowly programmers, I was soon the recipient of a shiny new VT100 monochrome computer terminal, and I buried myself in the manuals for this new device.

I discovered that by typing in characters in a special order, you could cause the terminal to display primitive blocky graphics, and so I started experimenting.

I typed in the proper sequence to display the message “EAT AT JOES” (a generic advertising slogan that was a running joke in classic ’50s-era cartoons) in huge block print, as an admiring semicircle of coworkers watched.

Hey, it was either that or “Kilroy Was Here.”

For the final touch, I typed in the magical sequence to make the entire screen blink this message, just as Dennis happened to walk in.

He immediately, along with all my coworkers, burst out in uproarious laughter, but then his mood changed as he realized that his baby was being used for frivolous purposes that might not be appreciated by the higher-ups.

“Rick, that’s very funny,” he said, wiping tears out of his eyes. “But never do that again.” He explained his reasoning to me.

I thought it an overreaction, but: “Okay, I won’t,” I agreed.

“Seriously,” he reiterated, “Don’t. Ever.”

“Got it.”

He left to return to his office, while we admired the blinking EAT AT JOES for a final time. I erased the message. My coworkers filed out of the room.

And then the phone rang.

It was Dennis, calling from his office. “I’m not kidding. Don’t do that. Ever again.”