Christmas Memories

When I was a child, we opened all our presents on Christmas morning, but we kids always begged our parents to let us open just even one little present on Christmas Eve. And they magnanimously would agree, every year, picking a “random” present for each of us that always turned out to be matching pajamas to wear that night.

Somehow, we never caught on. And we did the same with our kids, and I believe they are still doing it with their kids!

And every time I tell this story, numerous listeners chime in that yeah, their family does that too!

As a kid I would always leave my bedroom door open as I went to bed, making sure I had a clear view of the Christmas tree in the living room as I fought against sleep, hoping for a glimpse of Santa. Somehow that never happened.

One year I was dead set on getting a Robot Commando toy. I was obsessed. When we played Monopoly, I would calculate how many Robot Commandos I could buy with my winnings.

This toy was a robot—I was completely gaga over robots—that would accept voice commands! Wow! Futuristic, eh?

The TV ads showed a child commanding, “Fire!” into a little wired controller, and the robot would fire a missile, followed by the command, “Forward!” which would cause it to roll into battle. “Left!” would instruct the robot to turn ponderously to the left.

Note that all the commands contained a forcefully enunciated letter “F,” the blast of breath from which would push forward a little baffle in the controller’s “microphone” to close a switch that would make the magic happen.

This was the ’60s, of course; AI or even voice recognition was not remotely feasible at that stage.

But this toy cost $25, a princely sum back then, and my stepfather and Mom both solemnly told me that they would not be able to afford it.

In today’s dollars, that’d be somewhere around $270. Right. Forget it.

On Christmas morning, however, one of my presents was, indeed, a Robot Commando! It had been bought by Milt, my biological father. How he could afford it, I can’t tell you, but I was surprised and pleased that he could.

I wonder how my mom and stepdad felt about that.

Other memorable Christmas gifts when I was a child were:

• An Erector set

• An HO gauge train

• A Heathkit shortwave radio receiver

• A set of drums (Good thing we lived in the country!)

There was an awkward moment the year I sat on Santa’s lap and told him what I most wanted for Christmas was a Chatty Cathy doll. “Err, uhm,” he prevaricated, looking at my parents for a lifeline.

“He just wants to take it apart so he can figure out how it works,” they reassured him.

I did not get a Chatty Cathy that—or any other—year.