After 40 years as a computer programmer and game developer—and the passing of his wife of 47 years—Rick has retired and is now living in Ye Olde Folks Home, where he still tinkers with tech and likes to write these amusing and/or thoughtful tales about his storied life.

First Chapel Service at Ye Olde Folks Home
A Yearly Ritual at Menards
“Mr. Loftus, the Town Hero”
The FCAL Project
Pepe Le Pew Finds New Lodgings
In Memoriam: Dale Lear
Bingo Bedlam at Ye Olde Folks Home
There’s a Shortage of Perfect Movies…
One Day at the DMV
A Visitor from Microsoft
“He Who Should Not Be Named”
Downton… Abbey?
This Home is a Liver-Free Zone
My 9/11 Rememberances
My Yearly Pumpkin Spice Rant
Done In By Baker’s Square
My Eulogy for Alice
“Dear Rikki…”
A Clean, Well-lighted Place for Books
Memories of my First Computer
A Little Excitement at the Staff Meeting
The Tale of Mrs. Butler
Sun, Sand, and a Margarita
“Thou Shalt Not Steal”
Troubleshooting at Ye Olde Folks Home
Stories of my Mother
I’ve Heard Angels Sing
Elevator Mishap at the Eye Clinic
One Day at Fair, Isaac
Saturday Morning Cartoons
A Sprig of Parsley
Fun With Recruitment Ads
Leave Her to Heaven
Bring me Dave Bringle!
Beware! The Oldsters Are Coming!
Life Among the Progressives
A Family Ritual While Watching Masterpiece
The Unforgettable General Oppy
“Don’t Even THINK About Parking Here”
A Dubious Plan Gone Awry
The Singing Christmas Tree!
One Day in the Hospital Lab
The Legend of the Broken Timer
Nelson’s Fruit Stand
This One Time in Glee Club…
Star Trek References for the Win
Family Psalm, Stuck in Lodi
Vacation in Branson
Clyde and Ruth Revisited
COVID Policies During my Wife’s Fatal Illness
I Guess I’m the Shadow IT Department Now
The Tale of Clyde and Ruth
My Garden of Gethsemane Story
We Might Get a Virus!

“Don’t Even THINK About Parking Here”

Say, I don’t think I’ve ever told the tale of Ted Lewis’ parking space.

A long time ago (in a galaxy far away), I worked for 13 years at Fair, Isaac and Company in San Rafael, CA.

Bill Fair, the titular “Fair” in the name, was our CEO of the “benevolent despot” variety. Everyone liked and respected him, sure, but he was a very no-nonsense guy who was not to be crossed.

Bill had a dedicated parking space just outside the entrance to the building, because… CEO. Duh.

There were several incidents involving various vehicles encroaching on that space; to make a long story short, much hilarity ensued.

As a result, additional signage went up over his parking space: “Don’t even think about parking here.”

Now, there was another guy in upper management named Ted Lewis. Whereas everyone liked Bill Fair, they loved Ted Lewis, including myself.

Someone got the idea that Ted should have a dedicated parking space too.

So a new policy was announced: anyone who had been with the company for 25 years or more could have a dedicated parking space.

This gave Ted his space without appearing to be a special favor to only him, since he was the only person other than Bill Fair to have been at the company that long.

Everyone knew what was up; this wasn’t fooling anyone. We all went along with it because we all absolutely adored Ted Lewis.

But at this point various troublemakers impishly pointed out that this was not, actually, the case.

There was a woman on the ground floor, far, far away from the exalted C-suites on the top floor, who had toiled unnoticed in the mail room since the company’s founding.

And she had been with the company for at least 25 years.

So where was her parking space?

Well. Um. Hello, unintended consequences.

I forget exactly what happened after that, but I do know she didn’t get a parking space.

I suspect the woman in question told the higher-ups, “Oh, sweet Jesus, leave me out of this,” but the rest of us thought this was enormously entertaining.