After 40 years as a computer programmer and game developer—and the passing of his wife of 47 years—Rick has retired and is now living in Ye Olde Folks Home, where he still tinkers with tech and likes to write these amusing and/or thoughtful tales about his storied life.

The Eggshell Incident
First Chapel Service at Ye Olde Folks Home
A Yearly Ritual at Menards
“Mr. Loftus, the Town Hero”
The FCAL Project
Pepe Le Pew Finds New Lodgings
In Memoriam: Dale Lear
Bingo Bedlam at Ye Olde Folks Home
There’s a Shortage of Perfect Movies…
One Day at the DMV
A Visitor from Microsoft
“He Who Should Not Be Named”
Downton… Abbey?
This Home is a Liver-Free Zone
My 9/11 Rememberances
My Yearly Pumpkin Spice Rant
Done In By Baker’s Square
My Eulogy for Alice
“Dear Rikki…”
A Clean, Well-lighted Place for Books
Memories of my First Computer
A Little Excitement at the Staff Meeting
The Tale of Mrs. Butler
Sun, Sand, and a Margarita
“Thou Shalt Not Steal”
Troubleshooting at Ye Olde Folks Home
Stories of my Mother
I’ve Heard Angels Sing
Elevator Mishap at the Eye Clinic
One Day at Fair, Isaac
Saturday Morning Cartoons
A Sprig of Parsley
Fun With Recruitment Ads
Leave Her to Heaven
Bring me Dave Bringle!
Beware! The Oldsters Are Coming!
Life Among the Progressives
A Family Ritual While Watching Masterpiece
The Unforgettable General Oppy
“Don’t Even THINK About Parking Here”
A Dubious Plan Gone Awry
The Singing Christmas Tree!
One Day in the Hospital Lab
The Legend of the Broken Timer
Nelson’s Fruit Stand
This One Time in Glee Club…
Star Trek References for the Win
Family Psalm, Stuck in Lodi
Vacation in Branson
Clyde and Ruth Revisited
COVID Policies During my Wife’s Fatal Illness
I Guess I’m the Shadow IT Department Now
The Tale of Clyde and Ruth
My Garden of Gethsemane Story
We Might Get a Virus!

A Little Excitement at the Staff Meeting

This happened at my last job before I retired; I am quite grateful that I don’t have to deal with nonsense like this anymore.

Our monthly meeting at work usually involves listening with rapt attention to the latest massaging of our corporate mission statement.

But this month it suddenly grew an appendage: a big party at the end. That and some other signs led me to think, “Gee… I think something is going down.”

I commented to a coworker, as a half-serious shot in the dark, “I wonder if we’re getting sold again?”

“Yeah, right,” he said with an unbelieving grin, as we entered the meeting room, where the CEO and COO were at the head of the room, accompanied by… someone we’d never seen before.

Oh boy. Hang on tight, boys and girls. Here we go!

Our fun-loving CEO warmed us up with the following: “Hi, everyone, I’d like to introduce you to Neil. Neil is from the bank to tell us why they’ve called in our loan and why that means we’re going out of business.”

A couple of people suddenly sat bolt upright in their chairs amidst a sudden mass intake of breath.

“Haw haw, just kidding!” our CEO responded, and explained that Neil was actually from a private equity firm that had bought us out.

“I’ll be damned, I was right,” I thought silently. They spent a good 45 minutes convincing us that this was going to be a good thing (well, maybe) and that nothing was going to change, which is what they always say, and sometimes they’re correct.

“Your jobs will stay the same, the organizational structure will stay the same, the Christmas party will stay the same… nothing’s going to change.”

“Are we still getting our Christmas bonus?” someone interjected.

“…the Christmas party will stay the same,” the CEO repeated, with a nervous little grin.

Seriously, just as with the previous time we were bought out (which turned out to be no big deal), I was alert but not concerned. And yes, we did end up getting a Christmas bonus. But I got a giggle out of relaying this story to Alice when I got home.