After 40 years as a computer programmer and game developer—and the passing of his wife of 47 years—Rick has retired and is now living in Ye Olde Folks Home, where he still tinkers with tech and likes to write these amusing and/or thoughtful tales about his storied life.

Bringing Coffee for Alice
“Turn Off the Lights!”
What to Say to the Grieving
While Waiting for the School Bus
An Unfortunate Misunderstanding
In Memoriam: Betty Lou Edwards-Vessel
A Little Knowledge is a Dangerous Thing
Who Would Jesus Stab?
The Eggshell Incident
First Chapel Service at Ye Olde Folks Home
A Yearly Ritual at Menards
“Mr. Loftus, the Town Hero”
The FCAL Project
Pepe Le Pew Finds New Lodgings
In Memoriam: Dale Lear
Bingo Bedlam at Ye Olde Folks Home
There’s a Shortage of Perfect Movies…
One Day at the DMV
A Visitor from Microsoft
“He Who Should Not Be Named”
Downton… Abbey?
This Home is a Liver-Free Zone
My 9/11 Rememberances
My Yearly Pumpkin Spice Rant
Done In By Baker’s Square
My Eulogy for Alice
“Dear Rikki…”
A Clean, Well-lighted Place for Books
Memories of my First Computer
A Little Excitement at the Staff Meeting
The Tale of Mrs. Butler
Sun, Sand, and a Margarita
“Thou Shalt Not Steal”
Troubleshooting at Ye Olde Folks Home
Stories of my Mother
I’ve Heard Angels Sing
Elevator Mishap at the Eye Clinic
One Day at Fair, Isaac
Saturday Morning Cartoons
A Sprig of Parsley
Fun With Recruitment Ads
Leave Her to Heaven
“Squirrel!”
Bring me Dave Bringle!
Beware! The Oldsters Are Coming!
Life Among the Progressives
A Family Ritual While Watching Masterpiece
The Unforgettable General Oppy
“Don’t Even THINK About Parking Here”
A Dubious Plan Gone Awry
The Singing Christmas Tree!
One Day in the Hospital Lab
The Legend of the Broken Timer
Nelson’s Fruit Stand
This One Time in Glee Club…
Star Trek References for the Win
Family Psalm, Stuck in Lodi
Vacation in Branson
Clyde and Ruth Revisited
COVID Policies During my Wife’s Fatal Illness
I Guess I’m the Shadow IT Department Now
The Tale of Clyde and Ruth
My Garden of Gethsemane Story
We Might Get a Virus!

An Unfortunate Misunderstanding

A common prompt for online discussion is, “What’s your most embarrassing moment?”

I’m sure I’ve had many, but I wouldn’t really know how to answer that question.

Until now.

I hadn’t told anyone here at Ye Olde Folks Home about my mother’s recent passing, except I think I did mention it to one woman at dinner.

Yeah, right. What do you think happened next?

Everyone knows.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that; I’m just amazed at how efficient the grapevine is around here.

I kept getting approached by myriad women who had heard the news and wanted to express their sympathy. “So sorry to hear of your mother,” they’d say, then open their arms wide for a hug.

I’m not much of a hugger, but it’s a sweet gesture. Sure, let’s do this.

This morning at church a treasured family friend, who happens to also be one of the ushers, greeted me as I sat down.

“Do you have a communion cup?” Oh, it’s Communion Sunday? No, I didn’t get one; thank you.

After communion, she came around to collect the empty cups. She held her arms wide and said, “Right here.”

Oh, I guess she read about my mom on Facebook? Okay, sure, let’s do this.

Wrong.

“No. Right here.”

She was using one arm to reach around me where someone was trying to hand in their own empty cup.

I stopped myself just in time, but it was obvious by the stifled giggles around me that my misunderstanding had not gone unnoticed.

Yes, if that had been her intent, she would have done that the first time she came by. That just now occurred to me.

I sat down after she left and involuntarily clapped my hands to my face in the famous “Home Alone” gesture, as I reddened in embarrassment.

Right, just kill me now.

Well, I always say: if you can’t laugh at yourself, someone will do it for you, and you won’t enjoy it nearly as much.

I looked when I got home and no, neither she nor her husband are friends of mine on Facebook, although I would not mind that.